Many couples fall into the trap of approaching conflict in a you vs. me manner which often leaves each member feeling angry, hurt, and alone. It is so easy for us to fall into this trap, but we don’t have to. By thinking of your partner as your teammate in life, the two of you can approach bumps and challenges as a united force.
In order to do this, you must have open communication. Many communication problems stem from misreading the other’s message and not knowing what the intent was. I personally am a fan of using disclaimers when I’m not exactly sure of how to get my message across. I might say something along the lines of “I’m not sure how to say this . . .” This type of gentle start up gives you some grace to stumble through what you want to say and can help the other person hear your true intention and message.
Another way to view your partner as your teammate is by not thinking of “this is what’s on my plate and that’s what’s on yours.” Instead, you have one big bowl (the relationship) to hold all of these responsibilities and worries that each of you carry. It’s the “what’s yours is mine” mentality. I think this is where the true spirit of being a team comes in. When couples shift to this way of thinking, they have a strong sense of “we are in this together,” and isn’t that one of the great things about being in a relationship?
This mentality does not come naturally to all, especially if you have never seen this type of a relationship modeled before, but that does not mean it is not possible for you. By being open and intentional with your partner, you can enjoy the benefits of being a team as you two go through life.